After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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