i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
