"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
