Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
thus making me awesome and them whores
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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