I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize