she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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