I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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