she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
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Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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