Plan B is the new Plan A
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
