your room smells of hookers.
And success
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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