**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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