At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
