When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize