You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
