your room smells of hookers.
And success
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
