She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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