Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
