Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
