woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
