just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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