how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
