its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Let's get the cat blown out
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
