does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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