Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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