i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
