so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
