We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
