I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
