don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
