ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
