Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Are my feet made of real feet?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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