She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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