Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
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