I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
