batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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