I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
