i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
