How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
