I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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