We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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