I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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