eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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