would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
vagina is talking i cant
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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