We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
