white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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