So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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