also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
