I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
