Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
