she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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