Please don't use social media to get back at me.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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