I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
