This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
