why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
