Pappa wants mamma naked
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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