Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
