In the future we'll all be gay
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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