why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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