with your own penis?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
