Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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