You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
