So drunk its hurt
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
i think i just lost a toe
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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