This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
