I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Still dying that you shit outside
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
