that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
