i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
