Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
