When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I want to be your penis for a week.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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